Loving Emma

I'm not sure why I'm even writing today; because in all honesty I have 5 essays to write and get memorized by Wed at 8 am, but I'm the worst procratenator when it comes to philosophy😐 So here I am. Don't really know why I chose this pic for today's entry, but I thought that it was super cute! Perhaps it's because these days it is the little things in life that keep me going. Like hanging out with Ian and all my other amazing friends. Going on random adventures and lending a helping hand to a friend in need. I love waking up in the morning and not knowing what the day holds and then find it's so much better than I could have imagined. Life is so full of mysteries, and for the most part I love mysteries! But there are some mysteries that I don't like. For instance having questions to as to why bad things happen to good people. Why a God would take a child from their parents and so many other of life's many questions. We had a unique kind of s...

I feel like I'm in a hole with no way out. I don't want people to know how I'm feeling and yet something compels me to tell them. What is it? Fear? I just want to be normal again. I never realized how much depression effects people; than again I guess you never do until you yourself are in the middle of it. What's wrong with me??? People say I have so much to live for, and yet I can't see my future. Do I have one? Before Emma died, I had so many dreams and goals. Now I feel like my life is over. I'm planning college and next semester, and the truth is I don't want to go on in school. What keeps me going? What is it that is keeping me here in this world? Fear of the unknown? Maybe it's that I have a few things that I need to see before I leave. I need to see Jeremy go to regionals and Josh play in his first game. I need to see Chloe turn one, and watch Cass graduate. I have to go to summer camp with Kris and Katarina. After that I'm not sure...